1) The admiral is heavy and he is slowing your retreat needlessly.
2) If you see the admiral standing somewhere, leave him. He knows the best were he wants to be.
3) If you see the admiral wandering aimlessly around the ship, call flag bridge department of lost and found.
4) If the admiral is on the bridge don't panic, that is what Aux-con is for.
5) Follow the advice on chief-engeneers uniform, it says: "I'm chiefenigeneer, if you see me running, run too!"
6) In case of blackout there is no need for panic, Commander Black is already safe.
7) If on order "I want it done within an hour" chiefengeneer reply positively than something is definitely wrong.
8) If you want the ship to fire on something, make sure to move T.O. to the right console.
9) You know, what they say about big red button, don't you? Well, our TO has two of them.
10) Once we had the bridge fully covered with scratches but than we convinced our T.O. to make only one scratch mark per destroyed enemy ship and NOT per each dead enemy.
11) If T.O. is waving hands madly don't be afraid, our enemy has poorer day than you.
12) The motto of our flag staff is: "The admiral doesn't need to solve, what he doesn't know about."
13) Why is being reported "Admiral on bridge"? So that everybody has time to hide his own bottle.
14) Other flag bridges are place of calm and silent focus. But why follow the crowd.
15) Sign of good flag staff is that admiral finds out about battle in time when it was already won by staff.
16) The good cooperation between bridge and Flag Bridge is when the captain doesn't know that he carries the admiral.
17) Our shipboard hospital mysteriously emptied when doctor said two innocent words: "Guinea pigs"
18) Don't ask doctor about her mystery bag, you really don't want to know what is iside.
19) Battlecruisers has modern and greatly equipped hospital but Marika says that good doctor doesn't need to cheat.
20) In history is one known case of human being capable of resurrecting the dead. Our doctor can do that too, even dead is running away from her.
21) Do you have weird feeling that something is wrong? It is probable that those marine bastards have another party again.
22) Do you think that today's hypergenerator vibration have weird rhythm? Don't worry it is only that marines are drilling.
23) Do you look for something? Isn't it the admiral? Then ask the logistics.
24) Our BBOD clearly choose himself wrong path, with every ship on landing he does at least triple salto with five spins
25) Our staff ComO could teach peeps art of censorship.
26) For service in CIC is required six years working experience in Delphi.
27) Staff astrogator really doesn't sail the ship, which is probably for the good of thing.
28) Is some small moon in your way? Call the marines and give them the other end of rope.
29) Other ships require shipyard for some jobs. But that is why the god gave us duck tape.
30) If the ship chaplain commit suicide, is the evacuation of the ship on the point.
31) Cmdr. Black: I'm looking for the moron, who dropped the spanner right on the Phantom's main energy bus. I want him alive, i will kill him myself.
32) Admiral, without the magazine, that pulser won't shoot even if you order it to